Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Sometimes, I wish My Soulmate didn't happen to be a Bio-Boy.

I love my boyfriend. We honestly believe we're soulmates, and that we will be together forever. This isn't some kind of first love pillow talk. Nor can it be blamed on the honeymoon period, as we near our four year anniversary. This is real, in-it-for-the-long haul love, without jealousy, resentment or baggage and with the benefit of experience and complete honesty and respect. Also, a healthy dose of real expectations.

For example, being that we will be together until one or both of us expire, we are realistic about monogamy. He's not poly, but we've discussed the inevitability of attractions to and crushes on people outside of our union. Also, me being queer presents other obstacles to only being with one person for the rest of my life - that they only have the one type of genitals. I won't go into our ways of dealing with it all; it's not for this forum.

My friends in same-sex partnerships are asked, in passing, if they ever want children. Some do, some don't. I can't but think that those who don't, don't get the scrutiny afforded to my partner and I. Why is it a given that people in same-sex relationships won't want children, while those in M-F partnerships are assumed to set up house and start popping out kids like a wet mogwai?

I can't tell you why. I just know that while I would not change a thing about my boyfriend, (nose hair included) sometimes, I think it'd be easier to explain away our disdain for having kids if he wasn't a bio-boy. Or indeed, if I wasn't a bio-girl. But try as I might, he's not even a little into dudes, so the latter's a bagatelle.

Anyone have any thoughts as to why this may be the case?

Desci is a writer and editor in Melbourne. Her blog of vapid ramblings and hissy fits is here.

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