Wednesday, October 19, 2011

“Fussy” women swelling the ranks of the barren

According to The Age, Mr Right is Not Worth the Wait. That’s right gals; your reason for living is to reproduce. Modern women are too fussy and should lower their standard. It’s better choice to shack up with a loser, at a younger age in order to pop out sprogs more easily. End of story. Women are always incapable of making the best choices for themselves.

If you talk to an IVF specialist, the majority of whom are men you will always get the same story. Women are delaying pregnancy too long and increasing their chances of being infertile. But you’ve also got to remember that these professionals reason for existing is solely to assist the barren breed. They only see women who are desperate and in some cases, remorseful about not being able to have children unassisted or at all.

But perhaps a sociologist would see the situation differently. Women may be becoming increasingly fussy about who they shack up with, for good reason. Marriage is traditionally an economic transaction. Women offer their ability to produce an heir for a man and in return they are fed and sheltered.

Things have changed significantly since the bad old days when women who “lived without the protection of a man” were branded as witches. With economic independence has come choice. Many women genuinely choose to save their pennies, over rushing into an unsuitable coupling. Is independence such a bad thing?

With independence also comes the choice to reproduce or not. While the IVF specialists see the ones who may have regrets over that choice, or who may have been ignorant about underlying fertility issues (the over prescribing of the contraceptive pill at the first signs of any menstrual irregularities often cheats women from making choices around common conditions like PCOS and endometriosis) there are more females not fronting up at the clinics and are quietly going uncounted.

Being fussy but happy is not a headline clincher. Some women in their late 30s/early 40s actually choose to be in an equal relationship, with someone they are genuinely compatible with, over becoming a mother. Our woeful divorce and de facto separation rates belie the consequences of settling for less in a partner. Instead of settling for less, perhaps women would be better off setting their standards higher in the first place?

4 comments:

Cindy said...

I was *headdesk*ing over this front-page (?!) article yesterday. Yes, fertility is constrained by biological reality and people should be informed about the success rates and risks associated with treatment. But concluding that "women are too fussy"? What a complete failure to examine the current socio-economic motivations for people (not just women!) to delay reproducing.

Another Outspoken Female said...

Hi Cindy, my response was rather noisier and involved a lot of expletives :)

And while it's totally appropriate for the media to get the message out that IVF is not a "golden bullet", often fails, has serious health risks and is very expensive and that egg freezing is next to useless...blaming women once more is not the answer.

Lucy said...

oy...

well, i have naught to add because that age piece is madness...and i love clyde's response (welcome clyde)!

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